Thou shalt log
the fuck off.
If your coffee gets cold while you argue with a cartoon frog, the frog has won.
A society of questionable judgment
A higher
power.
Lower
standards.
The internet gave every fucking idiot a microphone. Unfortunately, we found each other.
Welcome to the Chad Incel Alliance. A comedy community in the making, dressed like it knows where the bodies are buried.
ENTER THE INNER CIRCLEFREE WILL: OPTIONAL*COMMON SENSE: UNCONFIRMED
Confidence sold separatelyAcronym doing the heavy liftingExtremely serious about being unserious
01 / The doctrine
Believe in something.
Preferably less stupid.
A sacred text for people whose entire worldview was assembled between a podcast ad and a protein shake.
THESE COMMANDMENTS
WERE TYPED, NOT REVEALED.
Thou shalt log
Thou shalt retire
“high value.”
Your laundry has been fermenting in the washer since Tuesday. Finish that qualification first.
Thou shalt question
the guru.
A rented sports car is not a peer-reviewed paper. Neither is a fucking screenshot of Stripe.
Thou shalt survive
being roasted.
If a joke needs a nineteen-post rebuttal, put the phone down before you appoint a press secretary.
CONCEPT ARTIFACT02 / The sacred object
One acronym.
An alarming amount
of ceremony.
We put the name on a gold ring and immediately developed a superiority complex.
That is the entire creative process. Nobody descended from a mountain. Somebody opened the group chat.
The ring is concept art. The cult is a bit. The commitment to making this look unnecessarily fucking expensive is real.
REQUEST YOUR PLACE ON THE LIST03 / The initiation
A ritual even you
can probably complete.
NO ROBE REQUIRED.
A FUNCTIONING EMAIL HELPS.
PHASE I / THE SUMMONS
Leave your email.
One real inbox. Optional X handle. Please do not submit your manifesto in either field.
PHASE II / THE WAITING
Await transmission.
You're signing up for launch and community updates. No initiation date has been announced.
PHASE III / THE FREE WILL
Keep your fucking agency.
Joining the list does not commit you to joining anything. You can ignore the theatrics and enjoy the jokes.
04 / Reasonable suspicions
Before you
call your lawyer.
Fair questions from someone who just found a cult through a Twitter Space.
What the hell is this?
Chad Incel Alliance. CIA. A comedy-group community in the works, dressed like it has files on you. The cult bit is a joke; the acronym is doing most of the administrative work.
What happens when I sign up?
Your email goes on the list for CIA launch and community updates. That's the transaction. No payment, membership commitment, or immediate email. Your soul can stay in its current condition.
Is this the actual CIA?
No. Intelligence would be a wildly misleading description of what's happening here. We have no government affiliation.
Can I leave?
Yes. Adding your email does not commit you to joining anything. There is no loyalty oath hiding behind the submit button. You're joining a waitlist, for fuck's sake.